Coming out is a very special process for any queer person, for it helps them express their true self to everyone and be proud of it. And while in recent times we have worked towards creating a progressive queer-friendly community both online and in real life, we still haven’t overcome a lot of internalised problems; biphobia being one of them.
What is biphobia you ask? Well the internet will tell you that:
biphobia
/bʌɪˈfəʊbɪə/
noun
dislike of or prejudice against bisexual people.
"Often, biphobia has been assumed to be identical to homophobia"
But there’s more to biphobia than just this. Often times bisexuals have been labelled as “confused”, “going through a phase’ and the worse, “half gay half straight”. These are examples of not a fear of bisexuals, rather a lack of acceptance of them.
When men come out as bi, it is often assumed that they are actually afraid to come out as gay (which may or may not be the truth for some). Whereas when a girl comes out as bi she’s labelled as “experimenting” or “closetted lesbian”. Sexual identity is an ever-evolving concept! At 16 I might identify as a bisexual and maybe at 21 I may come out as a lesbian. This does not allow anyone to say I was confused or wrong about my sexuality. It is I who chose what I want to label myself as.
If a bisexual woman is dating a person of the opposite sex, they are still a “real” bisexual, this does not undermine their queer identity. If a bisexual man is dating a person of the opposite sex, they are still a “real” bisexual man, and it does not undermine their queer identity!. Their current partner does not define their identity, they do!
In mainstream media and in reality, dating a bisexual person has been seen as a burden of sort. Quite frequently heard phrases include, “Well they can cheat on you with a guy as well as a girl! Why take the risk in dating them?” or that “Oh you’re bisexual, you must be very sexually forward right?"
Let's get this straight; QUEER PEOPLE DON'T EXIST TO FULFILL YOUR SEXUAL FANTASIES.
If you date a person for their sexuality, and not for who they are, then there's something seriously wrong in this equation.
Like all other sexualities, bisexuality is a spectrum as well and this can be seen in the very flag itself. The colors pink and blue blend together to form purple, a very apt metaphor for bisexuals too. We can blend unnoticed with the gays and lesbians, but the purple signifies that we are our unique identity.
When someone comes out to you as bisexual, get this: they aren't 50% gay and 50% straight. They are 100% bi and that's it.
- Sulagna Moitra
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